Home Baking

The baking bug has hit the household.

I have devoured many a chocolate caramel slice in my time but never attemped a home cooked effort.........until Saturday afternoon. This was a team effort by Lina, myself and Gee.

The secret - Don't be shy with good quality 70%+ cocoa chocolate. These photos were taken of the final few slices before it was last seen on my plate about 20 minutes ago.

Lovely!

Rugby - New Zealand VS South Africa

Seldom has so little been expected of an All Black Team as this season.

Last week against the Australians, most expected a loss and we were pleasantly surprised. The feeling was very different last night against South Africa at home and at altitude with New Zealand being defeated 28-19. Unfortunately this loss has brought home that even with our full strength side (minus Ali Williams and Dan Carter), the Springboks at home may be too good for us.

Against France our inexperience was for all to see and can be pinpointed as a significant reason for the loss of the Dave Gallagher trophy. The team sheet last night had plenty of test caps beside the names and it was disappointing that despite this, there was a lack of composure when cool heads were required.

To be fair, it’s difficult to win football games when playing 40 minutes of rugby. Momentum is the name of the game at test level with inevitable ebbs and flows, but with a referee seemingly hell bent on whistling us out of the game, the Springbok flow became a torrent in that 1st half giving us no chance to play.

When down by a halftime score of 14-3, the coach will either read the riot act or give the ‘its not as bad as it looks’ speech and I suspect Henry would have given the latter. There can be no arguments in the second half however as the game was there to win if we were good enough.

As Henry has stated, this is an excellent Springboks side and I suggest that they will be too good next week as well.

Article in Bonda Magazine

Bonda Magazine is a family resource publication for members of an organisation called 'Ibu' (meaning 'mother', in Bahasa Malay).

The June issue was a 'fathers' special and the editor got in touch with several house dads requesting some input. Unfortunately I am unable to attach the PDF scanned copy of the article for reasons of computer illiteracy on my part, however here is the copy that appeared. Attached are the photos that also appeared.

It was a very cathartic experience to write of my experiences as a Manmum over these last 16 months, and I'm sure I will enjoy reading it again in the years to come, when my circumstances have changed entirely.

I am one of a very small minority. We are known by many names – stay-at-home dads, house-dads. Manmums is one I have heard recently. They tell me that our numbers are growing amongst the expat community in KL, although I have not met enough that would suggest this. Nevertheless we are out there, and when I was asked to write a piece on being a dad in a mum’s world, it made me think of how, and why we are different.

One key difference between men and women is the way we develop social networks. Traditionally, men network via work, or through sport, and for better or for worse, an amber fluid is usually close to hand. A visit to the local Rugby club was therefore a priority upon my arrival in KL. Unfortunately a torn muscle 15 minutes into the game, and 6 weeks of limping, suggested to me that coming out of retirement was not wise and perhaps there were easier ways to make friends. But as they normally do in life, things have fallen into place. I have made friends even without work and sport, and for this my liver is truly thankful. However, I do wonder whether the guys would come out of the woodwork at Ibu if I started bringing a few Tigers for snack time!

Another major difference is coming to terms with the role having been raised in a very traditional household. My father worked and my mother fulfilled the stay-at-home role. The priority for my father was ensuring the family was well provided for. Quality time with the kids was inevitably difficult and that was just how things were. As all good fathers are to their sons, he was my role model. When my wonderful wife secured her dream job on the other side of the world, my intention was to work. This was the case in NZ, where we juggled daycare, 2 working parent roles, and general mayhem, in an attempt to get ahead. The stay-at-home ‘jaunt’ in Malaysia would last for a couple of months until I sorted out a ‘real job’. Upon our arrival, it soon became clear things would be very different. Job prospects in my profession as a physiotherapist weren’t great, and becoming a fulltime man-mum was becoming increasingly more likely. I was terrified. Even now, over 1 year later, I occasionally battle the inner demons telling me I should be ‘a real man’ and get ‘a real job’

I am in no doubt that despite society having come a long way, there remains some old fashioned views on gender roles at home. If you don’t believe me, ask my wife. She overhears it at every party. A common response when introducing myself (to the working male) as a stay-at-home-dad, goes something like….‘you lucky guy’ or ‘So what do you do during the day?’ or ‘I would love to convince my wife to do that….honey, why can’t I be a kept man for a while!’. Imagine saying these things to a stay-at-home-mum. Of course not. It doesn’t happen. Because the perception amongst many men, is that this is a legitimate job for a woman and a free loading holiday for a man. I agree that I am lucky. This is clear to me now. However, all stay-at-home mums would agree – it ain’t no holiday!!


It took me several months to truly appreciate my position, but now I am able to enjoy a unique opportunity that few fathers have. To see my son grow from baby to little boy. To see the changes every day before my eyes. To see a part of myself in him. The good, the bad, the frustrating, the struggle for independence, and the overpowering excitement that is his world. To see his beaming expression as we greet after kindy. These are priceless memories which I will always cherish.

So thank you Bonda for recognizing the stay-at-home dads in this issue. It may take us a while to come to grips with being part of the stay-at-home-parent community, but we will get there.

For those guys who wish to meet up, a gentleman far more organised then myself has started a manmum group. Contact Michael@manmum.com for more details.

The Football Offseason

They call it the off season. Some call it the silly season. This is the short window of the calendar year in which no European football is played.

Malaysia is one of the many developing countries worldwide who for various reasons, sycophantically worship European football competitions half a world despite having no Malaysian participation whatsoever. Football is the national code here but the domestic competition is considered a joke, apparently bereft of any hint of credibility. The standard of football here is poor by international standards with Malaysia ranking a lowly 157 in the latest FIFA ratings, closely trailing the sporting powerhouse that is the Maldives at No. 156. This is clearly unacceptable given the country’s resources, population, and love of the game. I digress however as the role of sport, or lack of it, within Malaysian society warrants a separate entry entirely.

Back to the football offseason. What do the main pages of the sports section in the daily papers run with? Afterall Badminton may be the most successful sport for Malaysia, results wise, but who wants to read about it?!

The solution consists of daily player transfer updates and negotiation updates complete with telephone figure considerations changing hands. Will he or won’t he? Accumulating suspense by the day. Sometimes I don’t know whether I’m reading the business section or the gossip pages. Call me an old fashioned conservative (shut up Steve!) but it isn’t sports and as a New Zealander I am grateful that we have embraced separate national summer and winter sports, thus avoiding such foolishness.

I am hardly a fan of the world’s biggest sport, however I far prefer reading about action on the turf as opposed to publicly listed companies masquerading as football clubs, trading their assets and commodities

Kaka signing for Real Madrid

Kiwi T-Shirts

I am awaiting delivery of some kiwiana t-shirts ordered from NZ.

The phenomenon of kiwi nationalism abroad is a niche that was just starting to be tapped by marketers when I lived in London during the 90's, and I gather that it has increased considerably since then. Perhaps as New Zealand matures, we are becoming more aware and proud of our place down there. It certainly helps when one can order online from the obscurity of south east Asia. Its fair to say that some of the t-shirts available at http://www.mrvintage.co.nz/ would have been up before the Race Relations Concilliator 30 years ago, in the days before Billy T and Bro Town. Particularly the T-shirt design above, which is part of my order.

So I do like to think that we have matured, and can now laugh about the things that used to give us the cultural cringe before, or were just swept under the carpet, instead of being celebrated as an example of the diversity and vibrancy that helps makes Aotearoa so cool and at the same time unbearably PC. What do I mean by 'swept under the carpet'? As a youngster, my Spanish ancestry was occasionally touched upon and provided ample explanation for browning like a Rotorua coin diver during those perfect, shoeless, ozone free, summers. Only recently was the dreaded family stigma of Maori heritage expunged from the dirty undies draw. No wonder 'Hola' is the extent of my Espanol today.

I wonder; perhaps there remains many New Zealanders today, for which a stray piece of Mediterranean DNA (heow xotic!) provides their answer for their propensity for flamenco dancing, spaghetti eating, or plate breaking.

Thanks to Debs for directing me to this website.

Film Review - Hunger

Hunger is not primarily a story of the Northern Ireland IRA martyr Bobby Sands, nor is it an exploration of a political debate that 30 years ago appeared so incurable.

Instead, Hunger is the story of men whose only tool available in protest is their bodies. The title sets the minimalist tone from which the film explores such basic human themes of desperation, strength of resolve, and plain stubbornness. Interspersed monologues by the British prime minister, Margaret Thatcher, illustrate that both sides could be unyielding.

Director and screen play writer, Steve McQueen, is a renowned visual artist, and the majority of the film is carried by incredibly powerful images, lingering, often from afar. However, for me, the most compelling scene was the 20 minute, sustained dialogue between Sands and the Maze prison priest as they discuss the pending hunger strike.

Regardless of ones side of the political divide, the strength of will and belief in their cause is undeniable. For this is no instant death in a suicide car bomb inferno, with the promise of a thousand virgins to follow. Just a long, slow, and unimaginably painful slide of the human condition.

Needless to say, it’s challenging viewing, and has been rightly described by some critics as a masterpiece.

Result of the KL Half Marathon

The morning of June 28 saw my first competitive half marathon. One year ago, the thought of running such a distance would have frightened me senseless but today, I have run the distance in training many times so I knew that I could make it. The real challenge was how fast I could do it.

My aim was a time of under 2 hours, and given my training stat,s I felt that this was a realistic possibility. The runners could not have wished for more favourable weather conditions with a colder then usual morning, heavily overcast, and no wind. Just the standard tropical humidity to contend with.

It was an excellent atmosphere during preparations for the start at Merdeka Square in downtown KL. This public space is ideal for such an event with it’s wide streets and large central field and I was determined not to make the mistake made in a previous 15km race of getting carried away, going out to hard, and running out of petrol with 5 km left. So it was a nice, easy first 10km. I was counting on markers every km as promised by the organizers as my plan was to kick on in the last 7-8 km. Unfortunately these markers were not forthcoming and in any case, when I knew approximately where I needed to increase my speed to reach my goal time, my legs were not cooperating.

So 2.03.19 was my time. Plenty to work on for the next event, the SAFRA Singapore Bay Run in August where I will break 2 hours even if it kills me!

See me at the end - http://www4.marathon-photos.com/scripts/event_entry.py?event=Sports/2009/KL+Marathon;match=HM1453

PS - You may be wondering why there is no mention of Lina's run as per my earlier entry. A bit of a cock up on the entry front I'm afraid. By the time we realised that we had not entered Lina in the 10km event, entries were closed. Oops!

Lina's plan is to run in Singapore however and her training is going well.

Mum and Dad Visit

Last week saw the return of my parents, John and Carol, back to New Zealand after a 1 ½ week stay with us. This time I had a fairly packed itinerary organized and if they thought that their stay would be relaxing after a month long cruise around the Mediterranean, they had another thing coming.

First stop was Melaka, the southern coastal city, a couple of hours drive from KL. It’s a nice place for a day or two, although I was disappointed to find no drinking establishment that was playing the All Black VS France Rugby test on Saturday afternoon, Malaysia time. It was fun doing the rounds when looking however, with Dad and I ending at the Equitorial Hotel for afternoon refreshments while Mum, Lina, and Isaac had a nap.

Our hotel was Hereem House, on the edge of the Melaka River. This is a quaint, colonial style, boutique hotel which is not to everyone’s taste. I was pretty satisfied though, particularly as the location is very central. A craft shop was attached so Lina was very satisfied with the place. She is accumulating quite a collection of household ornaments and pictures from various parts of Asia, which deserve a blog entry for themselves. Pictured below are those items from Melaka.

It was then back to KL and the next day we flew to Sandakan in the state of Sabah in East Malaysia, which is on the Borneo side. Dad has always been a nature lover and Mum was very much looking forward to seeing the orangutan,s so I arranged a 3 day river camp/safari along the River Kinabatangan (www.uncletan.com). To be honest, I was somewhat concerned as the website for the tour company makes it clear that conditions are Spartan. In fact, this is used as a selling point for the tour. Zero comfort but see plenty of wildlife. This boast did not prove unfounded with multiple exotic bird, croc, proboscis monkey, orangutan, and gibbon sightings, along the banks of the river.

Things went well on Mums first taste of camping/roughing it at aged 63. Great effort mum and you put a few of the young girls to shame.

See my poem on the 19 June entry for more details of our trip.

A few days were left in KL where Mum and Dad joined us for outings with friends. The end of over 5 weeks of traveling for them and they were ready for their beds back home by the end.

The jungle camp site

Mirror wall hanging

Very silver fern like

Intrepid journeys

On the banks of the River Kinabatangan

Its not often you come across a labrador in the tropics